How I forgave Paula Cooper

WEBVTT

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My name is Bill Pelke.

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I live in Anchorage Alaska.

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I am the president and
co-founder of an organization

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called "The Journey of Hope
from Violence to Healing",

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which is led by murder victim family
members that are opposed to

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the death penalty.

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We travel around the United
States and around the world,

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sharing our stories of "from
violence to healing" and talking

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about how the death penalty has
nothing to do with the healing

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that murder victim family
members need when a loved one

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has been killed, but how it just
continues that cycle of

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violence, and it creates more
murder victim family members.

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We promote forgiveness as a
way of healing, not revenge.

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We promote restorative justice,
as a way of life

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within the criminal justice system.

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As we do our speaking tours,
We are joined by family members

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that had loved ones
that have been executed,

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also people that have loved
ones that are still on death row,

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as well as people that were
sentenced to death but were

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innocent of the crime.

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Over 150 people in the United
States have been sentenced to

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death since 1972 that
fortunately, they were able prove

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their innocence before the
state could take their life.

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But when it comes to the
death penalty there's no

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room for mistakes.

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When it comes to the death penalty:
as long as human beings decide

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who is going to live or die,

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we are going to make mistakes !

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May 14th, 1985

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There were four young girls,
ninth grade students at a

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local high school in Gary, Indiana,
who left the school grounds

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at the lunch hour.

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It was common practice in those
days for students to leave the

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school grounds, but they would
go back to school after

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they had lunch.

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But these girls knew that day
they were not going to go back to

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school. They were going to skip,
play hooky for the rest

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of the day.

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They went to one of the girls’
homes that live near the school.

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There were just the four girls,
they sat around the

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dining room table.

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They drank some beer
and some wine and talked about

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what they were going to do for
the rest of the day.

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They decided they would like to
play video arcade games at the

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local arcade just a block away
but they had a problem.

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They didn't have any money.

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So they began to talk among themselves
about how could they

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get some money.

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Finally, one of the
girls, whose house they were at

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said: “Well, there's an old lady
who lives in back of me.

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She teaches Bible lessons
in the neighborhood.

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She lives alone.

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I think she has money.

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She doesn't have a
dog or anything like that".

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She said: " if you three girls will
knock on her door and tell her you

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would like to take her Bible lessons
I think she will let you into the house.

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If she lets you in the house
you can rob her".

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She said: “I'll stay back
as a look out.”

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And so, the girls agreed
on that plan,

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and a short time later three of
the girls knocked on my

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grandmother's front door.

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My grandmother answered the
door and they said:

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“Mrs. Pelke, we'd like to take your Bible
lessons” and my grandmother told

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the girls to come on
into the house.

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To know my grandmother, we
called her "Nana", but

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to know Nana, this is what Nana
would do. Nana loved to tell

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young people Bible stories.

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And so, at the age of 78 years
old it was one more chance to

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share her faith
with young people.

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She told the girls to
come on into the house.

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The girls came into the house and
Nana turned her back to go to

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her desk to
get some information on

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the Bible classes.

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One of the girls grabbed a
vase off of the end table and hit her

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over the head.

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As Nana fell to the floor,
another girl pulled a knife out

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of her purse and began
to stab Nana.

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While she was stabbing Nana
the other two girls went

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through the house
looking for money.

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They came back a short time
later where the girl was still

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stabbing Nana and said:
"we can't find any money!"

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So this girl got angry, she told
another girl to take the knife,

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and she went through the house,
and into the bedrooms,

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ransacking the house, pulling
out all the dresser drawers

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looking for money.

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The girls came up with a total
of ten dollars and the keys to

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Nana's old car.

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They took her car and went back
to the high school they skipped

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out on earlier in the day, to
see if any of their friends wanted

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to go joyriding.

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Nana died on the dining room
floor of her home.

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My father found Nana's body
the next day.

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You can imagine what a terrible
thing it was for my father and

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for our entire family that
somebody we love so much could

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have died in such a horrible manner.

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The girls were arrested the
next day and the State of

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Indiana immediately said that
they were going to seek the

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death penalty for
all four girls.

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In Indiana, if you were ten
years old or older and charged

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with certain kind of crimes,
you could be charged

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as an adult.

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Since they could be charged
as adults, the death penalty

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was on the table.

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The trials took place over the
next year and a half.

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And one of the girls, a 15 years
old girl at the time of the

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crime, her name was Paula Cooper,
was sentenced to die in the

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electric chair by the
State of Indiana.

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I was there in the courtroom the
day she was sentenced to death.

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It was okay with me that the
judge gave that sentence.

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I knew different people who were
being sentenced to death for crimes

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of murder and some were
actually being executed.

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I thought, well if they're going to
kill people for killing people,

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then they should kill the person

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that killed my grandmother.

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I remember as I walked out of
the courtroom that day,

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I was asked what my opinion was
by a reporter.

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I said “I felt like the
judge did what he had to do”.

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But then fighting back
tears, I said: “but it won't bring

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my grandmother back”.

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That was on July 11th 1986.

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It was three and a half months
later, November 2nd 1986,

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a day I’ll never forget.

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I was at work, where at that time
I had been employed by

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Bethlehem Steel for about
twenty years

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as an overhead crane operator.

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I was in my crane cab, and there
was a period of time where I

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didn't have any work to do. I
began to reflect on Nana's life

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and on Nana's death.

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My mind went back to the
courtroom on the day that Paula

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had been sentenced to death.

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And I recalled that just
as the judge had begun to

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deliver his sentence, this old
man just began to cry

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and to wail:
"They're going to kill my baby!”

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“They're going to kill my baby!"
And the judge looked over the bailiff

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and told the bailiff to escort that man
out of the courtroom because he was

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disrupting the proceedings.

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I watched as the old man was
led out the courtroom, tears

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coming out of his eyes
streaming down his cheeks.

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It was Paula Cooper's grandfather
and I also recalled

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as Paula Cooper was
led off to death row.

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Tears coming out of her eyes,
streaming down her cheeks onto her

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light blue prison dress. There were dark
blotches all over her dress.

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I began to think
about my grandmother.

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There has been a very beautiful picture
taken of my grandmother

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shortly before her death.

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This is the picture that was in the paper.
Whenever the

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papers would do a story about
her death or about the trials.

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I began to envision this
picture in my mind, but with

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one distinct difference,
I envisioned tears coming out of

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Nana's eyes and streaming down
Nana’s cheeks, and I knew that they

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were tears of love of compassion,
for Paula Cooper and her family.

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I knew that Nana would not
want this grandfather to have to

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go through to see his

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granddaughter, that he loved very much,
strapped into the electric chair

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and volts of electricity put
to her until she was dead.

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The girl, Paula Cooper, that had
killed my grandmother,

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Nana had invited her into the house,

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because she wanted to share with
her, her love for God. I felt

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that Nana would have been more
interested in somebody from our

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family or somebody from our
church or community try to

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continue to share that witness
for God, rather than being so

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interested in seeing her
put to death.

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And I knew that Nana would not have been happy with all the

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hate and anger that was coming
out of Northwest Indiana

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that was directed
towards Paula Cooper.

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She couldn't die soon enough to
make the people there happy.

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I knew she would have been
appalled by that and would have

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had love and compassion.

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I began to think
about Nana's faith,

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the Christian faith.

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I immediately thought of three
things that Jesus had to

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say about forgiveness.

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The Sermon on the Mount where
He said “if you want your Father

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in heaven to forgive you,
you need to forgive others”.

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I also thought about when Jesus
was teaching the

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disciples about forgiveness.

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Peter didn't quite understand
everything that Jesus was saying.

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He questioned Jesus: “How many
times do you forgive? Seven times?”

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Jesus responded by saying
“Seventy times seven”.

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I knew that Jesus wasn't saying
to forgive 490

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times, then you didn't have to
forgive any more, but Jesus was

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saying forgiveness should be a
habit, it should be a way of life…

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to forgive, to forgive,
to forgive and keep on forgiving.

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I also thought about when
Jesus was crucified.

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I envisioned a crown of thorns in
his brow and the nails in his

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hands and feet, and Jesus
looking up to heaven saying

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“Father forgive them for they
do not know what they are doing."

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I thought to myself, Paula
Cooper didn't know what

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she was doing.

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Somebody that knows what they're
doing doesn't take a twelve

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inch butcher knife and stab
somebody 33 times.

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What happened that day
at Nana’s house was a crazy,

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crazy senseless act.

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And I thought to myself: "wow
my faith is calling me to forgive".

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I thought, well maybe
someday I will, maybe.

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But once again,

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I begin to envision this
picture that had become very

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very special to me,
very dear to my heart.

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And seeing the tears coming out of
Nana's eyes and streaming down

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her cheeks, I knew they were
tears of love and compassion

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for Paula Cooper and her family.

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I felt she wanted me to have
that same sort of love and

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compassion but even though I knew
forgivness was the right thing,

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I didn't have a bit of love and
compassion,

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because Nana had been brutally
and heinously murdered.

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But so convinced that's what
Nana would've wanted, with tears

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coming out of my eyes and
streaming down my cheeks,

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I begged God to please,
please, please give me love and

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compassion for Paula Cooper and
her family and do that on

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behalf of Nana and I prayed it
in Jesus name. It was just a short prayer.

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I began to think I could
write this girl a letter.

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I could tell her about Nana.

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I could share Nana's
faith with her.

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And I realized my
prayer of love and compassion

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had been answered.

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Because I knew that I no longer
want her to die and I wanted to

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do whatever I could do
to try to help her.

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I learned the most important
lesson of my life that night,

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It was about the healing
power of forgiveness.

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Because when my heart was
touched with that

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love and compassion, the
forgiveness became automatic.

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I didn't have to forgive her.
It happened.

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And when it happened it brought
a tremendous healing.

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It had been a year and a half
since Nana's death, and whenever

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I thought about Nana during that period
of a year and a half,

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…it was so horrible I couldn't stand
to think about it.

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But I knew immediately when my
heart was touched with that love

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and compassion, and forgiveness took
place, I knew that whenever

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I would think about Nana again I would
no longer think about how she died,

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but I'd think about how she
lived and what she stood for

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and the beautiful wonderful
person that she was.

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I knew that something
special had happened inside of me.

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It was something that
changed my life.

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Before I left work that night I
made my God two promises:

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I promised that any success that
came into my life as a result of

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forgiving Paula Cooper, I would
give God the honor and glory.

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Second promise I made was that
any door that opened up as a

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result of forgiving her,
I would go through that door.

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That was November 2nd 1986 and
to this day I've kept those two promises.

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That's why I'm here today.

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For most people forgiveness
is a process,

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but that night in the crane
when God touched my heart

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with love and compassion,
the forgiveness took place

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and I realized that I had forgiven
her, to me it was a

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very beautiful thing.

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When I walked down the crane
stairs that night, (I had about

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50 stairs I had to climb to get
to the bottom ground floor).

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I knew that my life
was going to be different.

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I didn't know how, but I knew
my life was going to be different.

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I call the crane
"my mountaintop experience" !

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That night changed my life.

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Many people think
forgiveness is a process.

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But for me it was instantaneous,
almost like what I call miraculous.

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Forgiving Paula Cooper was a
very special event for me.

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I wrote her a letter, I explained
to her that I had forgiven her.

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I did not know if
she would write back or not.

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Fortunately about 10 days later
I did get a letter from her.

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And we began as a
series of correspondence.

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But even if she would have
never written back

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the forgiveness still would
have been in place.

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Because I knew that night in
the crane that something very

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special happened to me and it
was a life changing event.

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Paula told me in her letters that
my forgiving her did a lot for her.

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She didn't really understand
for a long time why I had done

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what I had done.

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But she began to
learn about forgiveness.

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There were people in her family that had
done her wrong and she came to

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where she was able to forgive them
for what they had done to her.

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And she became a strong
Christian lady involved with

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the services offered through
prison ministries.

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And she even was baptized shortly
before she was released from prison.

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But she had strong faith in God.

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When Paula Cooper was sentenced
to death it was headlines

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in papers not only in this country
but throughout Europe where

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there is no death penalty.

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So there was quite a
fascination about her case,

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about why the state of Indiana
would take a 15 years old black

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girl and strap her into the
electric chair when over twenty

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two thousand murders had taken
place in the United States in 1985.

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Why were they going to take
her as an example?

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Pope John Paul II got involved
in her case asked the

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State of Indiana to have Mercy.

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In Italy they took on
her case very strongly.

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There was a group formed, actually
on November 2nd 1986, the very

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same day that I begged God
to give me love and compassion.

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There was an
organization in Italy started

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called "Don't kill".

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It was inspired by Paula’s case
and gathering petitions

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to send to the State of Indiana to ask
that Paula Cooper not be executed.

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Eventually over two million
people signed these petitions.

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And it was largely
responsible for Paula’s death

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sentence being overturned.

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The legislators in the state of
Indiana realized they had to

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raise the age limit from 10.

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After a long debate
they raised it to 16.

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But they still said that Paula
was still supposed to be

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executed under the old law.

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But by a vote of five to zero
by the Indiana Supreme Court,

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they said it would be exclusionary if
she was the only one executed

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under the old law.

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So, she was taken off of death row.

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When I begged God for love and
compassion, God answered that

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prayer and I had love for Paula.

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I wanted to help her
in any way that I could.

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And if you love someone you're
not going to want to say:

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"But I think you should die.

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I think they should put electricity
to your body until you’re dead."

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And so my first major goal was
really to try to get

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her death sentence overturned.

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I didn't want her to die.

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You can't have love for
somebody and want them to die.

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But while she was on death row
I had the opportunity to go

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to Italy on three
occasions and speak.

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One was a 19 day tour.

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The two priests who
started the organization called

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"Don't Kill" took me all around
within a 150 mile radius of Rome,

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speaking in high schools,
colleges, and churches.

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In fact. I spoke on Vatican radio
which was something as a little

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Baptist boy I didn't think
I would ever be doing,

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but I was able to talk on the National
and International segments,

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talking about love and compassion
and forgiveness.

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The first time I wrote Paula
was in 1986,

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and she told me how to be able
to go about visiting with her.

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I wrote a letter as she said I
needed to do, but the Department

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of Corrections for the State of
Indiana would not allow us to visit.

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Actually, for eight years they
would not allow us to visit.

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By the time I was able visit her
the first time she was already

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off of death row.

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The first visit came on
Thanksgiving Day in 1994.

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I was able to drive three hours
to go to the prison.

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I met with her for an hour.

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I never did ask her
why she committed the crime.

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I knew that when you went
in to the prison you were able

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to greet the person with a hug.

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I had seen on an
interview that she had done,

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that she wanted to look in my eyes and
know for sure that I had forgiven her.

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So I gave her a hug, I stood back.

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I told her I loved her
and I had forgiven her.

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We never talked about the crime
but we talked about some people

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and friends that we had made in
common over the eight years.

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On the drive home, the three
hour drive home,

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the word wonderful, wonderful,
wonderful kept crossing my mind.

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Because I had just met this
person that had done

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such a terrible thing to my grandmother,
such a terrible thing to our family,

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and yet I didn't have the anger,
the hate, or the desire for revenge

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that would have been
so easy to have had.

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But I had the kind of love

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I know God wants us to
have for each of his children.

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And to me that was wonderful!