If you don’t transform your pain

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I think the single thing I've learned
from all the stories is,

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because they all say the same thing,

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that if you do not transform your pain,

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you will probably transmit it,

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take it into your relationships

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and your relationship with the world.

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And that transforming pain can

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can be many many different
ways of doing that.

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But it seems to me an incredibly
humane way of dealing with

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the kind of suffering that
people have to endure.

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I don't think it's possible
to move on and heal

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if you're trapped in your own pain

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and if you're locked in by resentment,

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or grudges or hate.

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I don't think so,
but I think you can move on.

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I think you can let go.
I've known many people have done this.

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But (there are those) who say I do
not forgive. I do not want to forgive.

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Then you might ask that person
what do you mean by forgiveness.

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And then you can unpick
and actually at the end of the day

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what they are saying is exactly the same

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as what someone else is saying
who says I do forgive.

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So basically what these
stories are they draw a line

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under the dogma of vengeance.

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That is what all the stories
have in common.

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And I think that you need to do that
in order to forgive.