Learning to forgive in the small things

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The more you practice the
better you get.

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Now forgiveness is more than a
skill but it includes the skill

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of knowing you have to do this,
trying to struggle

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to see the other as a human being

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and struggling after
the depth of that reality.

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And you can in fact practice
forgiving even in the little things

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toward people who would
know you a little bit

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but practicing regularly,
even daily.

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You become a deeper forgiver
who not only can forgive more

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quickly so it doesn't have to
take a year or two

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it might still take months if it's a
very tragic kind of a situation

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but practice helps a lot.

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What about the little things in
life such as a man asking

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his wife to fill up the gas tank in
the car and she forgets to do that

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and now he has to get up early
and find the petrol station.

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He is a little late for work
and he is annoyed.

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Is that the same kind of
forgiving as let's say the Amish

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forgiving the murderer and the
memer of their precious children?

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It is not on the same magnitude
but it is the same virtue.

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It's going to be easier
for the man to forgive

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his spouse for that.

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He will get to the forgiving
point more quickly

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and there won't be
repercussions.

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There won't be consequences for
him of unforgiveness as there

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would be for those
who are filled with rage.

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But it's the exact same virtue
and it's those little things

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on which we practice and build up
in the virtue of forgiveness.

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So we do exercise what we call
our forgiveness muscles.

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We become forgiving fit
for the larger things of life.

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Here's another thing to keep in
mind when there are little

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things that continually build
up in our annoyances

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and we continually are annoyed
without asking for justice

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in a quiet way or even forgiving.

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The annoyances within us can
build up where all of a sudden

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someone might displace their
anger out of the person

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for another little thing
and the other is shocked.

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Why are you being so upset
because I forgot

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to bring orange juice home dear
and it has nothing to do

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with just the orange juice
it's that he's never dealt

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with the 30 things that have
happened over the last month.

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They're all
coming tumbling down.

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We ought to if we
choose to forgive.

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If we choose to make
forgiveness a part of our family

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and choose to make a
forgiving community

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be aware of those little things,
forgive those little things.

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Even though it doesn't take
much effort it's not trivial

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because upon the little things
the bigger issues of

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forgiveness are built and
I think the practice

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as Plato told us to do thousands
of years ago is correct.

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Through the practice we do
become more proficient

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in the practice of any virtue
including forgiveness

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which I think is the hardest virtue
to exercise on the planet

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because you're being good to
those who have betrayed you.